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Body Image Issues

May 18, 2011

I have recently read two blog posts that have really been weighing on my mind.   The first is a post on the drive for perfection that exists in society and the negative effects it has on us.  The second sparked a discussion on body image and the impact our own body image has on our daughters that really hit me.  Lately I have been a bit obsessed with my weight and body image.  I am about 20-25 pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant with the twins, I weight/size that I had just gotten back to after having my daughter less than a year before.  We are going on a beach vacation in June, and I have really been pressuring myself to lose some of the weight before we go. (And I have lost 5 pounds and lots of inches.)

My concern is that I have not been projecting a healthy version of my weight loss concerns and journey to my daughter.  In stead of focusing on getting stronger and healthier, I am focusing on getting smaller.  I don’t think that PlumGirl understands most of what I am projecting, but I know that she is understanding some of it.  I don’t think that the answer is to say, “That’s it.  I am not going to try to lose weight anymore.” because a lot of the weight is belly fat, which I know can be particularly detrimental to my health.  Also, I really do need to build up my endurance and strength, not only for my health’s sake, but also so that a can play better with my kids and make it through a music class with PlumGirl without getting out of breath!  Plus, I think that modeling exercise and healthy eating for her is being a good role model.  Rather than focusing on getting skinnier, what I need to do is focus on the joy of working out and getting stronger.  On what a good mood a hard work out puts me in.  On how much more my body can do.  I need to banish the words weight, skinny, and fat from my vocabulary.  Those are NOT good words for her to learn.  I do NOT want her to think that she needs to worry about her weight or size.  I want to help her develop a desire to be active and eat healthily, not the obsession with size that I have been demonstrating!

If only it were so easy as to writing this post and instantly changing!

I know though, that if I commit myself to it, I will be able to change what I am teaching my daughter.  I do, after all, only want to do what is best for her and me.

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